"If you suffered from small pox as a child or have eaten vanilla ice cream or have ever had sex, this drug may cause you to trip over, spew green slime and speak in tongues." But what about those movies where nothing blows up, no one arrives from outer space and the body count is less than five? Don't they deserve their own little bits of crap for sugar-crazed ankle biters of all ages to demand? Look at the whupping Mike Modano of the Stars received from the Red Wings. Clutching, grabbing, stabbing. Other team got a good player? Pop a cap in his ass. This summer, for once, stop pretending what you're giving us is good. Instead, admit it's crap! Hell, intentionally give us crap! We at the 'Hole have never been afraid of crap, however, and this last weekend we scored. Big.   Real life boxers are not controlled by humans, but by promoters. Like boxing promoters, the toy maker discovered that a bloodsport is much more effective when the combatants are different colors.