May 17- May 23, 1999

Why is the sky blue?

Why is there atmosphere?

Why do we need to breathe?

Why do they still let Chris Carter make X-Files episodes?

5.17.99

Thai, That Is...

The Associated Press reported this weekend that members of Thailand's government are concerned about proposed legislation that would let women keep their maiden names after marriage.

Evidently, in the name of gender equity, the prime minister's office is trying to amend the 1962 Names Act, which states: "All you Thai babes better get used to changing your last names and making really good spring rolls."

The Interior Ministry of Thailand worries that men who are not members of the nobility will marry aristocratic women, and allow their children to keep their mothers' aristocratic surnames. The Thai prime minister responded to this complaint by saying, "No shit."

In a similar story, Jed Clampett is just flat pissed at cousin Ellie Mae for dropping the "Clampett" in favor of "Bonaduce."

It's merger-mania in White Trash land. Come feel the power...

 


"God certainly wants Bill to watch The Phantom Menace," adds the Pushcarts' spiritual advisor, Pastor John Bugger. "Or else He'd never have allowed the film to be released just as the boy was going on summer vacation


Imagine shouldering a player so hard, it actually sends him flying over the glass, up the aisle, past the concession stands and into the street? Happens in hockey all the time. Heck, if they wanted to vacate La Casa Blanca so badly, maybe the Republicans should've tried Marty McSorley instead of Ken Starr.


Sure, the delays seem incredibly awkward to those of us with fully-functional cerebral cortexes, but someone needs to make programming for the pizza delivery guys, too.


Being a woman on Bonanza was the equivalent of wearing a red shirt on Star Trek, it was a sure cue for the viewers to begin the death watch.