June 29--July 5, 1998

How 'bout a big fat smooch for your favorite web-rag? Don't we deserve it?

C'mon, just a little peck on our collective cheeks....

6.29.98

Roll Tide

Good to know Alabama has its finger so carefully on the pulse of the nation.

While the rest of us worry about Mulder and Scully necking, the good folks in Montgomery are having a run-off election for governor featuring an incumbent who threatened to call out the National Guard last year to defend a county judge's display of the Ten Commandments on a wooden tablet in his courtroom.

Yep, incumbent Fob James also once displayed his contempt for the theory of evolution by emulating an ape and waddling across a meeting room of the Alabama Board of Education. His wife banished portraits of Robert E. Lee from the governor's mansion because she felt they were possessed by demons. And when he recently signed a bill requiring silent meditation by schoolchildren, he was heard muttering curses over an open television microphone.

The best part? The dude's probably gonna win again.


For all you lonely-hearted chat-room habitues out there who tune into the TV show every week with a remote in one hand and a vibrator in the other, we have one word: Moonlighting.


I haven't had this many secrets revealed to me since William Hurt provided the schematics for the Department of Defense's flying saucer, encoded in his dialogue in Kiss of the Spider Woman."


Johnson's abbreviated coaching career for the L.A. Lakers lasted 16 games. Anyone think The Magic Hour will last that long? God, it's bad.


Even the addition of the ponderously incoherent Magic Johnson wasn't enough to instigate a federally dictated cap on talk show hosts.


Robert Reich was indeed quite the raconteur, particularly when his accounts of events didn't always match videotape records. Facts should never interfere with a good story.