Fake Non-Fat Cheese The Minnesota Vikings, with their convincing 28-14 drubbing of the Green Bay Packers, now lead the division by three games and a tie-breaker with only five games left to play. Who is to blame for Green Bay's fall from Super Bowl representative to also-ran? Brett Favre? The interceptions hurt, but Green Bay's shitcanned without him. We put the blame squarely on everybody's resident fake genius Ron Wolf. In the offseason, Minnesota signed Robert Smith, Cris Carter and Todd Steussie. These are their own players. Minnesota is now 10-1. Tampa Bay, although unable to overcome Trent Dilfer's deal with the devil, signed their own young defensive stars and should be as strong as Trent's deodorant for years. Ron Wolf, on the other hand, dug in his heels and went to battle with Green Bay's own valuable free agents. The salary cap goes up astronomically, and Wolf doesn't budge. Doug Evans goes to Carolina. Nice catch Randy Moss! Aaron Gibson leaves and makes San Diego's offensive line one of the best in the conference. Best of all, Wolf tried to grease up Dorsey Levens with the franchise tag and expected him to take far less than the going rate (see Robert Smith, Vikings), resulting in a protracted holdout and early injury. Don't expect Wolf to learn, however. He's all set to pimp-slap Antonio Freeman with the exact same ludicrous tag. Finally, as resident genius, no one can realistically expect him to keep his gosh-darn mouth shut. On the radio, Wolf proclaimed that coach Mike Holmgren was as good as gone after the year (because to keep the most valuable member of the organization would require the demotion of the resident genius: himself). Nothing like making that kind of announcement a few days before the Packers' most important game of the season. Heck, he might as well announced he was moving the team to Hartford. Side question.... What's the difference between Marty Schottenheimer and Barry Switzer? Barry could never land that lucrative fifth-place schedule. With absolutely no offensive stars to speak of, San Diego achieved a dramatic 21-point fourth-quarter comeback to land K.C. in the cellar. How could it happen? Well... that offensive line has really come together. Thanks Ron. .JockMaster

Will Terrell Davis score 74 rushing touchdowns this season? Yes. Remember, Denver plays Kansas City again No. In order to score that many times, he'd have to be playing in the second halves of some of these games. Last Results: If you had to choose between being eaten by a python or suffering through a cab ride with Joe Theismann, would you apply salt and pepper to your body in order to achieve "maximum tastiness?" Yes. I figure if I'm gonna go down, I might as well go down tasty. No. Theismann would've snorted all the salt.... 42% 58%