February 8-February 14, 1999

Man, it's like Pearl Jam says.

Don't call us daughter.

Not fit to.

Just read it, man. The picture kept will remind you.

(Huh????)

 

 

2.8.99

Chelsea, Chelsea, Chelsea...

It is difficult to be Chelsea Clinton for so many different reasons. Sure, you get to go to Stanford. Sure, your professional life will be whatever you want it to be. But man, look who your dad is.

Not only that, but there's this huge flap over the People Magazine cover story last week. Bill and Hillary pulled every string they had, and they still couldn't get the story yanked. And hell: it was a puff piece that centered mostly on slumber parties and elementary school beach picnics. If you're the First Daughter and you can't get a little media play, what good is life?

The toughest thing, probably, is knowing that your life, and your very birth, was founded in purely political motives. Bill and Hillary are politicians first and only. They needed a picture painted. So they screwed and made you.

Sorta like printing up a new campaign brochure, ain't it?


"We can still tell our stories," says NBC's Jesse, Christina Applegate. "But now, people will have to wait two weeks for a new episode, instead of one. And we think that will build a more loyal audience."


There are two types of women in this film: nice prostitutes and nasty prostitutes. There aren't any worthwhile men either, but at least they know how to defend themselves, and they get to keep their clothes on.


For those who missed Part One of "Full Disclosure" this Sunday night, Gillian's Dana Scully is fast becoming a close relative of Eric Stolz's character in Mask.


Lacking the structure and guidance provided by an elder male, boys everywhere are oblivious to the practices of swirlies, wedgies, and that "if your hand is bigger than your face, you have cancer" trick.