'Hole Name: Tubemaster

Real Name: Chris Harris, a.k.a. Beagle Boy

Meaning of Life: He Who Writes The Most Irreverent Self-Description Wins.

Bust Size: 40-AA

Turn-Ons: Long walks on the beach. Incredibly self-serving lists of 'Holes I've written. Thomas Pynchon. Razorblades.

Turn-Offs: Cancer. Nostril lint.

All-Time Favorite Sports Moment: Cornell wins 1996 ECAC Tournament. I get drunk, play a dozen games of bubble hockey, pass out.

Ideal Game: The "TVHole-Miraculously-Writes-Itself" Game.

Wildest Place I Ever Watched TV: At 20,000 feet in a blimp with Truman Capote and 25 vats of shaving cream.

Why I Decided To Pose For The 'Hole: Isn't it obvious? For the babes!

 

TVHoles by Tubemaster:

5/8/97: John Goodman Has Some Coors 5/9/97: The Arnold-ization Of The Tube
5/12/97: CBS: Network Of Schizophrenics 5/13/97: E. Pluribus Leno
5/14/97: Sexual Tension In A Handbag 5/15/97: 3-D Week Stuff We'd Like To See
5/16/97: MTV Shoots High, Aims Low 5/19/97: Mulder Bites It...Or Just Bites
5/20/97: Rick Schroder Kills Us. Really! 5/21/97: Roseanne Wakes Up, Gets Cancelled
5/22/97: Home Shopping For Your Double-Wide 5/23/97: Summer Programming Commences
5/27/97: Memorial Day Massacre 5/28/97: The Many Faces Of Ted Turner
5/29/97: Dinner Theater Saves Lives 5/30/97: The Stages Of Skin Puppet Fame
6/2/97: Insanity, Thy Name Is Silicon Graphics 6/3/97: Before You View...Prevue!
6/4/97: Johnny Appleseed: The Revenge 6/5/97: Skin Puppet Comebacks
6/6/97: Chuck Norris Is Extremely Short 6/10/97: Disney's Wonderful World Of Flotsam
6/13/97: Film Careers Of Your Favorite Friends 6/18/97: Summer Blues And The Hot Dog Quotient
6/19/97: Law & Order? Good. Simon & Simon? Bad. 6/20/97: Gary Busey And Other Corpses
6/23/97: Cable Networks Go Postal 6/24/97: Ruby Wax Doesn't
6/26/97: Corporate Tie-Ins And Gerald McRaney 6/27/97: Overage Child Stars And Their Breasts
6/30/97: Mike Tyson Has A Snack 7/1/97: Chicago Hope's Ward O' Freakazoids
7/2/97: Killer Bees On Fox 7/3/97: Aaron Spelling's Monkey Paws
7/7/97: The Death Of Lois & Clark 7/8/97: Bob Saget Trips Over A Ladder
7/9/97: The Golden Age Of Game Shows 7/10/97: Jay Leno Is Not The King In Cyberspace
7/11/97: The Mess Between The Cracks Of Must-See TV 7/15/97: Never Go Swimming Until An Hour After...Roar!
7/16/97: Of Nougat And Men 7/17/97: ABC does Quentin Tarantino
7/18/97: The Madness of John Tesh 7/21/97: A Weekend In Descrambler Heaven
7/22/97: TV Ratings System Will Save Your Child! Really! 7/23/97: ABC Offers Up NYPD Blue...Then Prays For Rain
7/24/97: Quentin Tarantino Digs Made-For-Tube Movies 7/25/97: Let's Toast! A Magnum of PI
8/4/97: Candice And Her Friggin' Parrot 8/5/97: Frank Gifford's Head Explodes
8/6/97: Dean Koontz Rewrites The Classic Horror Stories 8/7/97: Keenen Ivory Wayans' Thirty-Story Head
8/8/97: A Weekend Of Underpaid Actors Snarling Between Commercials 8/11/97: Diary Of A Fox-Avoider
8/12/97: Three Cruddy Commercials For The Price Of None 8/13/97: Where In The World Is NewsRadio?
8/14/97: Syndication Saturation 8/15/97: The Crumbling Monument To Warren Littlefield
8/18/97: John Tesh Gets His Ass Kicked In South Park 8/19/97: The Military-Industrial-Entertainment Complex Conspiracy Against Facial Hair
8/20/97: JAG As In Gag 8/21/97: Hook Up Miss Teen USA To A Generator...You Got Central Heating!
8/22/97: News Magazines Proliferating Like Ear-Hair 9/1/97: American Media And The Princess Diana Tragedy
9/2/97: A Buffet of Buffy 9/3/97: MST3K Summer Special And Some Soft-Core Porn
9/4/97: With The Power Of Silicon Graphics...You Can Bore Millions! 9/5/97: Spinning Cherries And Elton John's Head: MTV's Award Show...
9/8/97: Star Trek: Voyager And Toy Planets Dangling From String 9/9/97: Make Sure Not To Laugh At Ally McBeal
9/10/97: The Quest For Justice...And Mayor Ed Koch 9/12/97: Hail Mary! Homey Atones
9/16/97: The Captivating Odor of Melrose Place 9/24/97: The Worst Television Series Ever
9/25/97: Tony Danza Cheers Us Right Up 9/26/97: Go To Hell...Watch Nothing Sacred
10/3/97: A Tour Of The Clooneymind 10/8/97: Dellaventura Will Kick Your Ass. Oh, Wait. No He Won't.
10/22/97: Potts, Curry Wrestle In Over The Top 10/28/97: You Mean You're Surprised George & Leo Is Lousy?
11/3/97: X-Files: The Waiting Is The Hardest Part 11/5/97: Fox's Altruistic Satiation Of America's Need For Bloodletting
11/12/97: How To Get Away With Murder 11/19/97: The Lizard-Hide Of Rupert Murdoch's Generation
12/1/97: Beavis & Butt-Head Are Dead...Sort Of 12/8/97: An X-periment In Syndication

SportsHoles by Jockmaster:

9/15/97: NFL Whack-A-Mole 9/16/97: The Shithead Convention
9/18/97: Hoops...I Love This Lame 9/19/97: College Football's Easy Favorites
9/22/97: NFL Whack-A-Mole 9/23/97: Barf-Stained Sox
9/30/97: Baseball's Fade Pattern 10/2/97: Stop! Or My Team Will Shoot!
10/3/97: Bowl Alliance's Amazing Powers Confound Experts 10/7/97: Uncle Sam's New Cleats
10/9/97: Andy, Did You Hear About This One? 10/10/97: Vince Lombardi's Fondest Psychic Dream
10/15/97: Baseball Favorites Give Way To Fish-For-Hire 10/16/97: Tinkers To Jesus To Chance
10/17/97: Chiefs, Chargers Bore Nation Into National Defense Crisis 10/20/97: Insanity, They Name Is Football
10/21/97: Billy Joe Pulls Back The Curtain 10/24/97: How I Learned To Stop Worrying And Love The Colts
10/29/97: How To Make An American Quilt 10/30/97: Jordan Eats Internet
11/6/97: How To Fake A Limp 11/10/97: NFL Whack-a-Mole (Week 11)
11/12/97: F*** You, ACLU 11/14/97: You Bet Your Astroturf
11/18/97: Expansion Baseball: Giant Exploding Fish 11/19/97: How To Tell If Your City Sucks
11/25/97: Oprah Swallows NBA 11/26/97: Using All of Your Thanksgiving Supper
12/2/97: Fat And Lonely? Try Sports Radio! 12/3/97: Latrell's Spree Of Genius
12/5/97: The Stoned Referee Says "Bow Wow!" 12/10/97: Trophy Just A Spree Away
12/11/97: The Doctor Is Out 12/16/97: Jay-Ree's Big Night
12/17/97: NBA Dunks Contest 12/19/97: The Story Of No Story
12/23/97: No Berman References: Merry Xmas!