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  Five
July 15 - 21, 2002

 
Five Cosmo
Lies...

 
Five Frozen
Red Sox...

 
Five Good
Things About The
Crocodile Hunter:
Collision
Course
...

 
Five
Disappointments In Reign
Of Fire
...

 
Five New
Jersey Turnpike Rest
Areas...

 
Five
Head-Scratching TV
Renawals...

 
Five Trends In
Modern Music
That Make You
Cringe (Non-Ska
Category)...

 
Five Real
Estate Lies...

 
Five Stocks To
Dump...

 



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 Five New Jersey Turnpike Rest Areas

Of all honors bestowed upon the great and the worthy, perhaps none is more coveted than having a rest area on the New Jersey Turnpike named after you. Here are five who made the cut:
Clara Barton. Known as "The Angel of the Battlefield," Barton founded the American Red Cross, tending to Union troops and coordinating battlefield supply deliveries during the Civil War. After the war she became a champion for women's suffrage as well as for black rights, counting among her friends and acquaintances Susan B. Anthony and Frederick Douglas. Think of her while gassing up at the Clara Barton Service Area. Located between Interchanges 2 and 1 southbound, Milepost 5.4, Oldmans Township, NJ.

Walt Whitman. The Bard of Brooklyn, another tender of the Civil War sick and injured. Worked for the Department of the Interior until easily-offended Interior Secretary James Harlan fired him after finding out that Whitman was the author of Leaves of Grass:

"To behold the daybreak!
The little light fades the immense and diaphanous shadows,
The air tastes good to my palate."

Still, you might want to roll up the windows when driving through Camden. And lock the doors. Located between Interchanges 4 and 3 southbound, Milepost 30.2, Cherry Hill, NJ.

Alexander Hamilton. As every schoolchild knows, Hamilton was shot and mortally wounded in a duel with Aaron Burr on a bluff in Weehawkin, NJ, (dueling was outlawed in New York). Also, something about the Revolutionary War, Federalism, the Constitutional Convention, yadda, yadda, yadda. Maybe you can find out more at the Alexander Hamilton Rest Area gift shop. Located between Interchanges 16E and 15E southbound, Milepost 111.6, Secaucus, NJ.

Joyce Kilmer. No relation to Val. "I think that I shall never see, a Poem as lovely as a pee." Or was that "a tree"?

"The roar of the world is in my ears.
Thank God for the roar of the world!
Thank God for the mighty tide of fears
Against me always hurled!"

You want roar? You got it. Located between Interchanges 8A and 9 northbound Milepost 78.7, East Brunswick, NJ. Try the Kilmerburger at Bob's Big Boy.

Molly Pitcher. Famously hauled pitchers of water for parched soldiers during the Battle of Monmouth in 1778. After her artilleryman husband was wounded, she took his place at the cannon and blasted away at the stinking British. Honored by George Washington, and later by the NJ Turnpike Authority. Too many pitchers of water? Why not stop for a leak at the Molly Pitcher Rest Area. Located between Interchanges 8A and 8 southbound, Milepost 71.7, Cranbury, NJ.


Max Ataxia