April 13-April 19, 1998

Sick of the crap on the television, radio, big screen and the web?

HoleCity is proud you be your alternative source for pie-in-the-sky nasty-ass ranting. And hey, why not get it off your chest, too?

4.16.98

It's coming.

That's right, on a UPN station near you you'll soon be able to see Search For Justice With Fred Goldman. Um, pardon us, but hasn't John Walsh of America' Most Wanted pretty much cornered the market on turning personal tragedy into a personal fortune?

The show, according to its producers, is "dedicated to shining the light on the injustices inflicted on citizens by a judicial system gone wrong, a system that was supposed to protect them." Great. This from the same, selfless guy who, on being pushed away from President Clinton by Secret Service agents during a rally, exclaimed, "Don't you know who I am? I'm Ron Goldman!"

Oh, it's fine Mr. Goldman's trying to do "good deeds" in the name of his gigolo son. But really, who the heck is handing out development deals these days? Lyle Menendez?

No word yet on whether Search For Justice is secretly sponsored by SC Johnson Mustache Wax.


"The mere idea of a musical bag of chips makes us want to hurl chunks."


"They might give L.A. Confidential a shot because, dude, Kim Basinger's tits are in it, but they'll probably leave the theater shaking their heads,"


"This current crop of garbage makes Kenny Loggins look like Black friggin' Flag, and someone just needs to slap Dog's Eye View."


"...if I ever find him, I'll kick his ass. What is it? It looks like a messed-up bird."


"You can trade Moises Alou for a guy named Oscar Henriquez whose fastball you once timed at 100 miles per hour, but who now throws 92 and couldn't get Bea Arthur out."


"For those who still believe in rock's rebel status, we have four words: Sex Pistols Reunion Tour."


"...the Battling Belgian's legion of mouth breathers can't wait for the cinematic moment when their hero is forced to do the splits, usually in his underwear."